how do people perceive you?

Today, my sister pulled me aside to tell me that I was rude to my friend during a conversation we had at dinner. She said it seemed like I was bullying her… I was surprised to hear that, because I always joke with my friends but never thought it came across as bullying.

Back in high school, I tried so hard to control how other people saw me. I cared about everyone’s opinions, whether or not I liked those people. Thankfully I grew out of that mindset over the years. Being free to express myself without caring about anyone’s opinion appealed to me because a) worrying about everyone’s opinion is exhausting and b) I was tired of trying to fit in a box.

I reflected on this today when my sister gave me her perception of my conversation. Before we even talked, I’d been thinking a lot about my attitude. I can be really mean sometimes, and changing that doesn’t come easy. It takes conscious effort everyday to change a habit that you’ve become comfortable with, and I have become way too comfortable passing judgement on other people. This isn’t a habit I’m proud of, but I’m working on it. Being mean and judgmental of others doesn’t align with my goals, so it’s a habit that I want to be rid of completely.

While I do think it’s important to release yourself from the shackles of other people’s opinions, it also can’t hurt to listen when someone is critical. By all means, everyone should unapologetically be themselves – but make sure to take time to reflect on your everyday habits and behaviors and ensure they align with the person you want to be.